It has reached the point of embarassing to tell you how many hours I have sat on my bottom and done nothing but eyeball my computer this week. Recovering from my surgery has turned more into a sit and gawk fest for me. Blah. I am ready to leave this house, ready to be in the land of the living. I asked Noah today if he was ready for me to be up and going again,"Nope, I don't want to go back to our regular routine. I would rather do nothing." Translation, lady you have been so busy sitting reading blogs on the computer, you have no idea how many hours of wii and tv and whatever the what computer game I have been playing.

When not reading the whole life story of Ree Drummond or chatting on Facebook IM with friends across the universe, I have been eavesdropping on the conversations of my beautiful daughters. They are the hurricane and tropical storm of our home and while I have been of course busy reading my computer, they have wreaked havoc on their bedroom. I went into their room this morning took two steps in and walked right back out. I told them there was an hour of reprieve on that room, but after the hour was over I was going all trashbag on them and they better get to it. So they went upstairs for the three hour playtime that is cleaning up their room--to be honest it is the 2 hour and 45 minute playtime and 15 minutes of ramming with all their might everything that was in their room into their closet. Whilst they were doing whatever it is they do while in their room supposedly cleaning I tuned in to their conversations. Usually it is them talking as if other people--most likely sophisticated teenagers--but today they were just Macy and Molly 8 and 7. "Molly who is your best friend?" "You are of course." "We were best friends when we were babies and we are best friends now." "I think we will always be best friends." Puddles. That was what I was. Puddles. They are ridiculously sweet together and they played this week as if they were on vacation--they were, I was in a chair, my feet up reading the internet--and they have walked through the house arms laced through arms giggling, speaking a language I, nor anyone else knows, and being sisters. How blessed they are.


Tomorrow we are heading to Owensboro to go to an Adoption Match day program hosted by the Commonwealth. We will be playing with a bunch of kids who are adoptable, getting to know them,they getting to know us. We have a big day coming up on the
18th. There is a court hearing scheduled for that day which could be very impactful to us...or it may not. I will not go into the details just yet, but if you are still praying for us, pray that the 18th will be blessed and God's will for a sibling set be done. I will share with you more details next Friday if I can.

February 9, 2010

I am home looking out the window at the most beautiful snow fall I have seen in some time. The kind of snow fall where the flakes are so big you can almost see the design and the fall so thick and delicious you just want to stick your tongue out to catch them. I am inside because I had surgery yesterday and I am just laying around today. I had my gall bladder removed due to stones and many very unpleasant attacks that were getting more frequent and more disturbing. Nate and I headed to the hospital at 6:00 and I was taken back at about 6:35. Save the children I have not had surgery and this is my first get totally knocked out type. The surgeon, Dr. Daniels came in and prayed with us. I really appreciated is humility and his approach that he could do a procedure, but only God could heal. It was a blessing for sure!

I remember being wheeled into the operating room, but I had been given a dose of "I don't care" medicine and I woke up and was ready to leave the hospital by about 1:30. Sheryl Borders came at 5:45 to stay with the children until they woke, and then Ann Kirkpatrick kept them until we came home. It is such a blessing to have such amazing friends to help us with the children.

I came home and went back to bed. I woke up this morning about 6:00. I am a horrible insomniac. I have not had a full night of sleep in years, so it was very refreshing to sleep so much. I was able to eat some yogurt and eggs for breakfast and I am feeling really good. I have some soreness at my incision sights (there were four incisions) but other than that I am feeling pretty good.

Nathan has taken a few days off and the children and I are enjoying having him here. He is doing school with the children and I think they are enjoying a different voice! He is so amazing to do all the things that need to be done. I am so blessed!

February 4, 2010

It has been almost a month since I have written. There is very little to write about in regards to adoption. I have realized our journey of faith is much bigger than the trip to adoption we are taking now, and there have been so many things to happen lately that have been born from the grace of God. I am going to try and be better about writing an account of our total journey.

First to share is the story of Trevor and Amanda. Trevor and Amanda met and married about 4 years ago. Trevor has always been a special kind of wonderful in my life--my very own little brother (one I never had). He called me on January 6, 2006 and told me he needed to talk to me. He was in love and was going to be getting married and wanted to know how long it would take to put a wedding together. (I remember the date, because when he called me I was an hour away from running the Robison wedding. I sat down for a second, because I was a bit surprised!) I remember telling him, do you think you are ready, are you sure you are in a place where you feel you can be the head of a home, what if like us you have children come into your home quickly, do you think you are ready for that? (Boy did that become a prophecy, Sorry Trev!) I had met Amanda, liked her a ton--she was spunky and smart, but mostly Trevor adored her so she had to be good stuff, right?

Long story short, Trev and Amanda have been on a spiritual journey of faith of their own (Isn't Everyone?) and this past weekend we were able to be with them as they made their commitment to God in baptism. What a beautiful sight. Trev and Amanda have come from very different spiritual backgrounds and it is such an answered prayer they have come together and found a common place of faith where they can grow and serve for the glory of God. Praise God. I pray they grow in faith and God will be the center of their marriage and family. What a joy!

There is an adoption workshop this weekend we have been invited to. I am sure we will make our way there. It is to showcase children in KY who are available for adoption.

We are still patiently waiting on information on the children we have spoken of earlier. Patience seems to be the key!

Preperations

I mentioned a few days back about receiving a call and having a lot on my mind. The call was about a sibling group pulled into care and whose parents have been presented with a TPR (Termination of Parental Rights). These children will be in foster care until the TPR hearing (Should be mid-February) and if a judge signs off on the TPR then they would be available for adoption. We were presented to the children's caseworker as a potential family for adopting these kids. We don't have a lot of information right now. We know the children are safe. We know that it seems very likely the children will be available for adoption in Mid-February and we know we are more than willing to consider this opportunity.

We are excited about what could be coming ahead, but at the same time keeping our hearts in check. We have been trying to make ourselves ready, but not adjusting our lives too much--just in case.

I am asking for you to please pray for these kids, for us, for the parents of these kids, for the caseworker for these kids and for the judge who will be deciding their fate. I find it very difficult to pray for a child to be stripped from his/her parents, but I find it more difficult to have compassion for the parents who purposely damage and seek to destroy their children. These children need a safe and permanent home. We would like to be that home. Please pray that whether it is in our home, or in someone else's, children like these children and the thousands of children who are in the system in your state, and for the thousands of children who are just ok enough to get put in the system--but are hurting, are covered by the hand of God. Please pray that there will be enough homes for these children that they can find a place of hope for a brighter future. Please pray that Nate and I will show great wisdom in the upcoming days as we make decisions that will effect our family. Please pray that we will not be scared to open ourselves up again, but be satisfied to be the tools that God needs--no matter what the outcome.

Have a little faith in me.....

Please take the time to watch this clip....



If you have ever wondered why we have chosen this journey, this gives just a glimpse into what our hearts are crying out for.

If ....

If there are no more children brought into our lives I can say for sure I am still amongst the most blessed of women. I sat tonight in a circle with my family of five, playing a board game and it hit me in a very profound way how happy I am. I am happy for the blessings of my family of five. I am happy to be in an amazing marriage with a man who not only shares my dreams and convictions, he pursues them with fervor. How did I become so blessed? I have three amazing children who are healthy, happy and joy to me all the time.

I am content but looking forward. I praise God for His good blessings, for they are far more than we deserve.

So the prayer for the day is simply,
God, Thank you. I praise you for your Goodness. I recognize you as the giver of all good gifts. Thank you for bestowing so many on me. I long to pass forward your gifts.
Amen

Sunday, January 3, 2009

It is a freezing cold Sunday afternoon and I have been home all day. Molly woke up not feeling well so the kids and I stayed home while Nate went to church services. I have used the time at home to pull down all the Christmas trees and the other decorations. It is always a little sad when all the season's treasures come down....I love the sparkly lights and beautiful trinkets that make our home so festive, but like a new year, cleaning out the corners makes room for changes and repairs, cleanings and creative touches for a new year.

I have been fairly reflective of 2009 and looking forward to 2010 today. A new year, a new decade. Nathan and I decided 2009 would be the year we would pursue adoption. It has been a wild ride for sure! I have learned so much this year. I have learned about our world, about myself, and so much about Nathan. Tears of pain and anguish for losses have been shed along with tears of joy from realizing how blessed we are. Perspective is the word that best captures 2009 for me.

As we are now heading forward in 2010, I am taking all the experiences of this past year and anticipating what lies ahead. The decision to adopt is now more than a choice, it is a conviction. We have given ourselves over to the idea completely and we are now patiently waiting for the right opportunity to present itself.

We have received a phone call this past week with an opportunity. We are waiting to receive more information about this placement to make a decision. Tomorrow we could receive a call which could really determine the direction 2010 will go for us. I am looking forward to getting all the details and anticipate many prayers and discussions to follow. I will share more information later once we know more and know whether we will be pursuing this case.