Thursday, April 30, 2009


For the past three weeks, I have had trouble getting to sleep. It seems the moment I get settled in to sleep, my mind turns to our family--the ones sleeping under my roof, but more precisely the ones not sleeping under our roof yet. As we are going through our MAPP classes, my heart just breaks. The numbers of children in our county, in our state, in our Nation who are without a home is staggering. The reasons for the children not having homes is heart wrenching. My mind wanders to the fact that our child--the child we don't know yet is out there somewhere suffering for some reason. It breaks my heart.

On this journey, there will be people whom God sets along the way to direct our path. We are already so thoroughly thankful for our church family who is praying over this decision and journey for us. We have been so blessed to have such an amazing group of people to fellowship with in the cause of Christ. In this family we have never felt so driven to be all that we could be for Him, while at the same time so peacefully in love with God and His people. Knowing that these people are in prayer on our behalf is overwhelmingly comforting.

There are others in our church group who are farther along in their journey of faith. The Huddleston family and the Guyer family are currently matched to a child and are waiting for all of the i's to be dotted and t's to be crossed. I can only imagine how overwhelmingly difficult it must be to have a name, a face, and yet be in waiting for your child to come to your home. Please be in prayer for them.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Getting started

Since this blog is coming two and a half weeks after the official start of our journey, I thought I would catch myself up. Our first foster to adopt parenting class was April 16th. Now our story could not be told without sharing how a dear dear friend has stepped in, in a very huge way to help us by watching our children every Thursday evening for the 12 weeks. What a dear our favorite Mary Poppins is--she legally goes by Vanessa, but we all know she is Mary! With the children very happily in the care of the magic of Mary, I mean Vanessa, we have been going to the Department of Protection and Permanency.

The first night was an introductory night, we went around the room and introduced ourselves. There are about 20 couples and 2 singles there to receive the training. It is a neat cross section of people, from those with fertility issues, to older parents who have raised children and are now looking to give love to children, there are black and white families, a really funny Russian lady and apparently many aspects of faith represented in this little very warm conference room. There are two facilitators, women who are social workers and will be involved in placement and home studies. The first night was a short night and the time spent after introductions was for reasons why they require such a class.

The second week was more participatory. We did an activity where you were either assigned to be an foster/adopt (f/a) parent or a child in the system. You were given a bit of information and then you were to interview until you found a match. It was interesting. I was an adult who was looking for a girl who wanted no contact with her former family. Nathan was a teenage girl who needed a home that did not mind she was sexually active. I did not find an exact match, but compromised and took in a little boy instead. Nathan was not chosen at first, someone who did not want him just took him in. It was an interesting perspective exercise.

The remainder of the time spent dealt with feelings and behaviors you may come in contact with from children who are in the system. It is a little overwhelming to think of what is happening to children in our community, in our state and in our world. How blessed we are to know so little of what these wee ones are learning too early.

We'll start at the very beginning, that is a very good place to start......

It was a warm day in 1997. Nathan and I were not yet engaged, but both secure in our hearts that we were "the one" for the other. We were lying on a quilt at our favorite park in Louisville chatting as those who are love struck often do about what we thought would be our desired family picture. We both had a desire for a larger than average family and we both realized we had in our hearts a desire to adopt a child. This conversation was the first of a million of conversations we have had about our family since, but the desire has always been there for us to adopt.

We married in August 1998 and put ourselves on the five year plan for a family. Nathan was still in school, had just procured a preaching position and we were happily living on a wing and a prayer. On February 2 , 1999, I came to realize in a very real way that my plans were not to be. I, after a few weeks of denial, took a pregnancy test which confirmed my suspicions of being pregnant. On that day, I could not decide if I would laugh or cry, be excited or be scared, or if these emotions were so linked together I could not tell the emotion or the reaction from the other. I waited a day to tell Nathan. The look on his face seemed to be a mirror of what mine must have been the day before. How could fear, surprise, and excitement be expressed in one face that is forever etched in my mind? In September, we welcomed Noah into the world. We were never more happy, never more ready to see what the Lord had in store for us. Or so we thought.

When Noah was nine months old, and Nate and I were a year and a half into our marriage, we decided to take a trip to NYC, leaving Noah behind with his grandparents for the first time. It was a great, much needed reconnecting trip. And it brought with it a great souvenir, Macy. The day Noah turned 18 months old, he was given the title of BIG BROTHER, and we rejoiced in the beautiful dark haired baby girl. Again, our plans were thwarted...but we sure were glad!

A boy and a girl, 18 months apart born before our 3rd anniversary! Having Noah and Macy so close together caused us to wonder about future children, would we keep having children in such rapid succession, (we were attempting to prevent both times--praise God for His timing!). We both agreed we did not like the idea of the two being so close and there being a large gap in the ages of future children. On Macy's first birthday we resolved to just see what would happen. Two weeks later, we were expecting our Molly. I turned 28 the October before Molly was born and our little family was living quite happily in a 900 square foot cape cod. We realized our five year plan was to give birth to all our natural born children in the first five years of marriage...we had the timing right, we just missed the outcome!

More than six years have gone by since Molly made our family a populous of 5. In the past six years, I have had a tubal ligation which did not prevent pregnancies, had miscarriages that broke our hearts, and have developed endometrial abnormalities and fibroid tumors which will disallow a viable pregnancy.

After our second miscarriage, the desire to adopt was firmly placed on my heart. Nathan, the more practical half of our team, felt the timing just was not right. He, I am sure was feeling the overwhelming burden of heading up our brood, while gracing me with the opportunity to be at home. "Let's pray on this a year." And so the praying and the listening commenced.

Bringing this long story to a conclusion, the year passed, the desire to adopt was now secure in both our hearts and we began on this journey. On April 16, 2009 we began the parent training classes required by the state of Kentucky to adopt a ward of the state. We have opted to foster adopt and are very excited to be working toward our goal of extending our love and resources to a new Jones. Thanks for coming on this journey with us. Please be praying with us and for us as we navigate this journey of faith.