It's official...

...we are now on the list of foster families in the state of Kentucky. All the paperwork should be expedited by June 1. We are super excited. If you read this and would like to continue to read this, I will be going private so I can share information with you (including pictures), please either "follow me" or shoot me an email and I will send you an invitation.


Thanks.
Sara

Photo shoot

The kids and I decided to celebrate a sunny day with a photo shoot around our yard (and our neighbor's yard) this afternoon. I am really pleased with how they turned out. Thought I would share a few of them here.

What are you waiting for?

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I was driving into town today lost in my own thoughts when the song WALK ON THE WATER came on. I have struggled in my heart with fear and worry. I have heard God calling me to do things that I have eventually said no to because I was too afraid, too comfortable, or maybe too lazy. I lacked faith in myself and God. Do you hear the whispers of God calling you to do His will and you say no out of fear? You are not alone. If you read this and you struggle with this will you share? I am realizing true discipleship is not easy or comfortable...it is radical, it is hard and there is a promise of suffering. But I feel confident in my soul that it will all be worth it.

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid!



You look around and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder
What if i'm overtaken
What if i never make it
What if no one's there
Will you hear my prayer?
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you,
telling you to give up
Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are waiting, what are you waiting for

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water,
walk on the water too

Officially back in the game

May 12, 2010. We are officially back in the business of actively pursuing adoption through the foster to adopt program in Kentucky. I think Nathan and I have reached a place of comfort and healing through our past disappointments. There are so many things that have happened since we lost the boys last fall. I believe we have been tested and tried to help us to determine just what we were doing, why we were doing it and how far were we willing to go. Many of these things are not meant for anyone else to read, but are etched in my soul and shared only with God and the man God has blessed me with.

We have received so many times what I like to call God whispers through this journey. Little things that are reminders of how God is in control and how He will lead us to where He wants us to go even if it is not the place we had set out for. I have learned so many things about God, myself, my amazing husband, about our marriage, our children, our family and our friends. In the days following the loss of the boys we were surrounded by our friends, giving us comfort...holding us up while we allowed ourselves to be angry and sad. I have learned how my faith can shake but not crumble. In the midst of my sadness for myself I was given the gift of knowing how well the boys were doing. I have been reminded of that gift over and over as different people in my life have come into the lives of the boys and report back how well they are. I believe we were a tool for the will of God to happen--for the boys to be in the home of who He wanted them to be in, and I have realized I can rejoice in being used as a tool even when it hurts and does not bring about my hearts desire.

In the winter months of this year, I have been working through my thoughts and emotions. In the midst of that exercise, it was suggested we should give a home to four little girls. This was nowhere in our plan--we preferred little boys, we preferred not four. This situation is a complicated one and in the end not meant for us, but such a gift to have experienced. In accepting the idea of four little girls joining our family Nathan and I really had to search ourselves and decide what we were doing. We were able to define our purpose.

As we move forward in this journey we move as different people than those who started it more than a year ago. We have grown and changed. We have learned we are strong and we are determined. I am excited to see what lies ahead. I am convicted in enjoying this journey--whatever the destination, because the journey has been well worth taking so far.

May 10, 2010

Yesterday we celebrated Mother's Day in a very lovely way. My parents, grandmother, sister and her family and my family enjoyed a nice lunch at Mariah's. My children had awakened me with breakfast in bed, a gift wrapped by my girls (it was adorable!) homemade cards and many hugs and kisses. What a great day! Nathan would let me do NO work and instead I just relaxed and enjoyed my day. Divine.

At lunch yesterday, I asked my Mom to share some stories of her mother to my children. My mother's mother died from Cancer when my Mom was eight years old. She shared a few stories, her memories are limited and her most vivid are of her mother being sick and I imagine visiting those are not enjoyable. One of the things that my Mom said touched my heart. "Had we been raised in today's world, we would have surely been in the foster system." These words stung my heart.

We have had a friend staying with us temporarily while he made his way through a divorce and he has now left our home and I am speaking with our caseworker today to move forward with fostering. The words of my mother struck me as I knew this appointment was today. I have thought many times, "if not us than who" but now I think of the few stories my mother has shared and I am convicted....whose mother will these children be?