Friday, July 30, 2010

You'ses House

There is no easy way to hear the words of a three year old saying, "I am not happy because I am at you'ses house." The reality is I know she is not happy. If I were in her place I would not be happy. But it does not take the sting away. When we were in training classes there was an exercise they had us do ( I am sure I have written about it earlier, but I am too tired to go find it right now) where the teachers had us close our eyes and go on a journey. I want to take you on this journey, but don't close your eyes--it will make it hard to read what I want you to do.

Imagine you are sleeping in your bed. You are living a life that is familiar to you. You are in the only bed you have ever known, living with the only family you have ever known. You don't know any other life than the one you have, so you don't know if you have a good life or a bad life, it is just your life. You are awakened by strangers in the middle of the night. Police officers are screaming at your family. You are grabbed by a strange person and told to grab a few things. You are not given a chance to get an explanation. Your family is screaming and crying for you, but the strangers won't let you go to them. You are placed in a strange car and are driven away from your home. There is no explanation for why you are being taken from your family. You turn to see what is behind you and there is nothing and no one there.

You are taken to a new house. It is a beautiful house. It is clean and full of all the nicest things. The refrigerator is full of food like you have never seen before. The people there are acting like they know you. They want to hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they want you to be there. How do you feel? Do you want to go back home? Do you want to return to your spouse? Your life? Now these new people insist you call them family. They give you new clothes, they have you sleep in a new room. How long before you stop longing to be with your family? Just because these other people are willing to give you things are you wanting to be a part of their family?

Imagine they will not let you see your family, you can not talk to your family, you have none of your favorite items. This family lives a very different life than you are used to. Are you comfortable? Do you want to be there? What if they allowed you to see your family for two hours a week? How would you react when they said, sorry it is time for you to leave again? Would you be happy to be there?

The reality is that no one would be happy to be there.....but it sure does sting when a little voice is telling you her unhappiness is taking up residence in your home with her.

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